I left you Daddy...

This evening was so nice out...it cooled down enough that we were able to go out a bit before bedtime. Jon was working on the misters for my deck(Yay!), while Brook fed branches to the goat and I sat and watched all the animals playing together....it was a very peaceful evening.

Brooklyn ran past Jon on her way to get something from the house and then stopped and came back and said, "I left you Daddy!" Jon and I looked at each other and shrugged because, well, she's our daughter and she can be quite strange sometimes. She saw our look and decided to explain: "My heart is on the left side of me and so I left you means that I love you." Then she skipped off towards the house while Jon and I laughed and shook our heads.

I totally "left" that kid!

1 in 500

I had a doctors appointment on Tuesday and was told that I am growing right on schedule. The nurse listened to the baby's heart and his heart rate was around 128, which freaked me out until she told me that anywhere between 120 and 160 was "normal". Whew!

Dr Rodgers asked me if she had talked to me yet about the baby's heart......the ultrasound showed a bright white spot on one of the heart valves, called an Echogenic intracardiac foci (EIF). She told me that this white spot was a soft marker for down syndrome and that it increased my odds of having a child with downs from 1 in 1,000 to 1 in 500.

The tears that I tried so hard to hold back came flooding out as she said that she knew that we would not "do anything" about it, but that we could probably still do an amniocentesis to find out for sure. I asked if knowing now would mean there was something we could do to fix it and she said no. I told her that the amnio was not an option for us then...the baby either has it or he doesn't.

I sobbed all the way home. What parent wants to hear that there may be something wrong with their child? I prayed out loud as I drove home, still sobbing, and told God:

"Lord, I know that I can handle having a down syndrome baby; that you would not give me more than I could bear. I love this child and will take him in whatever form you choose to give him to me. I would rather have a normal healthy baby, but if you decide to give me one with downs I will love him just as much."

So now what? Now I learn as much as I can about down syndrome...and we pray and wait.

23 Weeks

23 weeks down, 17(ish) to go!!! Sweet! The baby is moving more and more, but Jon and Brooklyn have not been able to feel the kicks yet. Hopefully it will happen soon, because I think that will help them both to feel more connected to this baby.

Nausea has been replaced with heartburn.....even a small sip of water can give me heartburn. I have great energy in the beginning of the day and then crash by early afternoon....I have told Jon and Brook that if they need something done to get me early or they will be out of luck.

Here is the bump at 23 weeks.

Today I took Brooklyn to the river trail, where I walked and she rode her bike. We started at the Sundial bridge, went to Jump River park where Brook got to play for awhile and then we made the trip back to the bridge. It was such a lovely day.....the sun was shining bright and there was a wonderful breeze that helped to keep us from getting too hot. Brooklyn really enjoyed herself and got much more confident in her bike riding skills.

Brooklyn loved riding her bike across the bridge

Brooklyn and Mommy...what a fun morning!

I crashed hard when we got home and ended up being in pain and had to lay in bed all day long....I guess I may have overdone the whole walking thing:) It was worth it though for a special one on one day with my favorite girl.

New Ducks...

About a week ago we had a neighbor show up at our door asking if we wanted a couple more ducks for our pond. Her friend had two ducks that needed a bigger swimming area than the tub she filled up for them each day and she decided to find them a new home. They got here the day before yesterday and their names are Daisy and Quackers. I guess I should name the first four now:)

Any suggestions?

Daisy and Quackers-the newest members of the farm;)

We were very happy to see that our ducks got along with the new ducks and now they are a pack of six, swimming around and avoiding Jersey together.

The new ducks lay eggs, and they decided to lay them on the island, so Jon and Brooklyn took the boat across the pond to retrieve them.

I am told that they are great for baking....Mmmmmm!

Growing up.

I think I may be turning into a grown up. Gasp! My sister Fish and I talk about feeling like we are still teenagers who are pretending to be adults...that we are in essence still "playing house" and that one day we will actually feel like grown ups. Well, I have made some changes lately that have come so naturally that it scares me a little, and I think I may just be growing up......a little.

I want to be a morning person!

I want to be more of a morning person, and amazingly enough I think it may already be happening. Lately I am exhausted by 9:30p.m. When I go to bed that early I get great sleep and wake up much earlier and with greater energy. When I get up early...and by that I mean between 6 and 7...I put the coffee on, do a few small chores while I am waiting, pour my coffee and go out to my deck where I sit in my red adirondack chair, read my Bible and write in my journal. I watch all my animals play at my feet and usually have one or two of them laying on my baby belly while the baby tries to kick them. When I finish reading I wake Brooklyn up, water the garden and fruit trees and remind Brook to feed the the kittens, the dogs, the guinea pigs and the fish. Then we walk out to feed the chickens and check on the ducks and the goat. I have noticed that the days that start this way are some of the best days and I want every day to be like this.

I want a minivan so bad!

If my younger self heard me say that she would time travel and drop kick me. Seriously. I am on the lookout as I type this. They are SO much more convenient than a sedan or a truck for hauling kids around to school, soccer, swimming lessons, etc. When I get one, I plan to put a bumper sticker on it that tells everyone around me that I am a soccer mom and also that my child is an honor student.

Another year?

I met with Brooklyn's teacher yesterday morning to talk about whether we should keep her in Kindergarten for another year. As a mother you don't want to hear that your child isn't perfect, so it really sucked. I knew it was coming though, so that made it a little easier to handle.

Brooklyn is incredibly artistic, excels in math and graphing, is great in social interaction with her classmates and follows directions. Where she needs the help is reading......freaking phonics. Reading is quite important in first grade and is somewhat of a concern to the teachers. The subject that I excelled in as a child; I mean I was a ridiculous reader....still am.

The teacher suggested some things I can do with Brooklyn over the summer to improve her reading and we are going to reevaluate her in the fall.

I want to do what is best for my daughter and am trying not to allow my pride to get in the way of that. Jon and I both believe that holding her back will stunt her in other ways, so I will do whatever I can to help her move up in the fall.

Pray for patience folks!!!