I'm not her favorite person right now...and that's okay.

Actually, it's a good thing. She may not think so now, but one day she will understand.

 

I'm talking about my 10 year old daughter.

 

My very smart, very talented, super hardworking daughter qualified to represent her class in the school Spelling Bee! She was in it last year and came home with the 1st place trophy.

This year she brought home the permission slip that said she would be participating, had me sign it and took it back to school. Toward the end of Christmas break she told me that she didn't want to do it this year and asked if she could quit. I told her I would think about it and would talk to her Dad.

 

Last week she came home and said "My teacher needs a note from you that says I can quit the Spelling Bee." I told her that I couldn't do that, for a couple reasons.

 

1. Its not fair to throw an alternate in with a week to study

 when everyone else has had a month.

 

2. She signed up for this and she needs to finish it.

 

Oh man! Did I ever get the silent treatment and some tears, and for a second I thought about breaking. Then I thought about what that would teach her, and I decided to stand my ground.

 

Today she called me from school asking once more if she could quit and again, I said "No."

She put her teacher on the phone and I explained my decision.

I could hear the smile in her voice and knew that she understood what I was doing.

 

Dear Brooklyn,

 

I love you so much and think that you are amazing! You seem so much older than your age and sometimes I forget that you are still a child. A child that I am supposed to mold into a self governed adult. You see, I am not raising a child, but an adult.

Allowing you to quit something that you signed up for just because you "don't feel like doing it anymore" would be doing you a great disservice.

When you are an adult you will have to do many things that you don't feel like doing. Some of them things you signed up for and some that you didn't.

I want you to learn how to finish strong the things you set out to do, as well as how to say "no" to some things. I want you to learn to think things through and to decide if its something you have the time and energy for. I want you to learn what you can handle and how to keep from over-committing.

I know you have not done much studying for this event, and all I can say to that is that I will be there to watch you complete what you started and I love you very much.

 

 Love, Mom.

Tomorrow?

As I go to bed each night I tell myself, "Tomorrow I will work out...tomorrow I will have the energy to get off the couch and get something done...tomorrow I will eat more veggies and less junk." But it just doesn't happen.

I am in a funk. I know that I have a 3 1/2 month old baby that takes so much energy out of me, but I see other moms with babies who are FREAKING SUPER MOMS and I get down on myself which only exacerbates the situation. Arg! 

Hopefully one day soon I will wake up and find that it is "tomorrow" and that I am working out, eating right and getting stuff done. Until then i am going to enjoy my baby and get the rest that my body needs.

Baby Wise

When Travis was born, he had jaundice really bad and ended up being hospitalized twice. We spent 7 of his first 10 nights of life in the hospital where I would feed him, change him and then put him right back in his bassinet under the bililights.

When I got home all I wanted to do was to hold and snuggle him. That led to him only sleeping in my arms during the day, which I didn't mind because I just wanted him near me all the time. At bed time I tried to put him in the co sleeper and he would cry and cry and cry, and Jon and I would get no sleep. So I pulled him into bed with us, sleeping with him in the crook of my arm where he would nurse until he fell asleep.

These things combined to create a child who would only sleep in mommy's arms or the swing and wanted to snack all day instead of eating a full meal. Some days he would fall asleep eating and then he would wake up a few minutes later acting like he was starving. Basically he was never satisfied with food or sleep.

We stayed with my sister Angie last month when we were in town for our sister Fish's wedding. I told her that I really wanted to get Travis on a schedule and she lent me the book Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam . When we got home I went to find the book and it was no longer in my bag...turns out that Jon thought our 1 1/2 year old niece had put it there when she was playing in out stuff, so he put it back on the bookshelf.

When we were there for Christmas Eve I made sure that the book made it into my bag so that it would make it home with me.

Saturday evening I sat down and read the whole book. I was so excited to try it that I almost started right then. I thought about it some more and decided to wait until the next morning.

Sunday morning I got up and started the routine. I decided to start with a three hour cycle. Feed, wake time and then nap time.
Rinse and repeat.

First nap time he screamed the whole time.

Second nap time he screamed for the first part and then slept for a bit.

Third nap time he screamed, slept and then screamed.

That continued all day.

His last scheduled feeding was at 10pm. I fed him, changed him and put him down in the co sleeper where he cried until 1:45am. Every 15 minutes or so I would reach over and give him his pacifier and tell him it was nigh-night time. At 1:45 I decided to feed him. Afterall, he was going to need to keep up his strength if he was going to continue to cry like that. I put him back down at about 2:15, he fussed for a few minutes and then slept soundly until 7 this morning when I woke him up to eat.

I am so tired, but I am seeing promising results with him already...

First nap today he turned his head to the side and went right to sleep! Victory!

Second nap today he cried then slept and is now crying again. **sigh**

I just have to stand firm and give him some time to adjust. I think he is going to do well once he gets the hang of it, and if not, I will find another method that works for him.

I am just so thankful for all the great mommy friends who talked me through last night....even though I knew I was doing the right thing it helped tremendously to have the support of other mommies who have gone and are going through this with their kids.

Listen to me! I'm the MOM!

Brooklyn is going through a phase where she won't answer me and has the biggest attitude about the tiniest task I ask of her and it is driving me crazy.

I cried today. Sitting on the couch feeding the baby and bawling my eyes out.

Most of the time I feel like I am doing a pretty good job, but days like today I feel like a big failure...like I am faking my way through life as a parent.

After I prayed I felt much better:)

Speak up!

Yesterday was the last day of Brooklyn's swimming session. The teacher gave me her report card at the beginning of class and I eagerly opened it to see what new skills Brook had mastered and what we needed to work on together. Other than a note telling us we needed to do the same level again it was blank. If you have taken swimming lessons at the Aquatic center you have seen these report cards...they have a list of skills with two check boxes next to each one. One box says "Pass" and the other says "Needs Practice". Nothing was marked. As I looked over the skills I realized why nothing was marked; the teacher didn't teach half the stuff on the list! Seriously? She worked on skills that weren't even in the next two levels and skimmed over about half of the skills in her current level. I had been wondering if she was teaching the right skills for that level, but didn't want to say anything about it unless I was sure. She was really a very nice girl and the kids loved her, but it just seemed like she was treating it more like a summer camp than swimming lessons. So when I got the report card and realized that the reason she needed to repeat the class was because the correct skills were not taught to her I went to find the manager. I told her the situation, showed her the report card and asked to have Brooklyn evaluated to see what level she needed to be in. I was willing to have Brooklyn repeat that class if that is where they said she needed to be, with a different teacher of course. The head instructor got in the water and went through the list of skills with Brooklyn. At several points the teacher was met with a blank stare of confusion as she named a skill for Brook to show her, so they really got to see what was and was not taught. After seeing the teacher do the skills Brook was able to do them and the instructor said we could go to the next level! Yay!!! I made sure that they really thought she could handle the next class and weren't just passing her because I was there...that was not my intention. I really wanted to know what level she was so we could put her in the proper class. Having taught gymnastics for 7 years I have seen the effects of moving a child up to a level they are not ready for and I have also seen the effects of keeping a child in a class that they are too good for....neither are good.

Moral of the story folks: Speak up! Have your child evaluated if you believe they are in the wrong level of any class...in the long run it will save you time, money and frustration and will keep your child from boredom or feeling like a failure.

Mommy/Daughter Date

Today after school I took Brooklyn to Chuck E Cheese, just me and her. We had such a good time together playing games and just hanging out. Our favorite games to play were the fishing and Skeeball....she totally kicked my butt at Skeeball. I think the skeeball skills that my own Mother possesses skipped me entirely and went straight to Brooklyn. I am still working that one out in therapy.



After that we went across the parking lot to the Sweet Spot and had some yummy gelato and sherbet. It was GOOD!

Today really made me think about just how much our lives will change when the baby gets here in a few months....no more going where we want when we want to. Life as we know it will never be the same. That realization smacked me in the face today.....big changes ahead.

Pierced

Last night I was talking to Brooklyn about what she wants for her birthday which is next Wednesday. She said princess stuff, new eyeshadow(for play and photo shoots only), a lamp so she can look at books when she's not really tired, and her very own box of tissues so she doesn't have to walk all the way to the bathroom to get one. Jon and I laughed SO hard!

I asked her if she would like to get her ears pierced and she got so excited. Today after school Jon and I took her to Claire's in the mall and she changed her mind about 7 times about which earrings to choose. She finally decided on the CZ's.

She got in the chair, the girl cleaned her ears and then the tears came. Awesome. I calmed her down and told her that we didn't have to do this, but that I knew how much she wanted it done and that she would be okay. After a few minutes she decided that she would do it. Luckily there were two people there so they each took an ear and got it done at the same time. Watching the look on her face as the earrings pushed through her flesh made me feel like an abusive parent......I thought about how she would never trust me again and that our relationship was doomed to therapy sessions where all she talked about was how her mother ruined her life when she was almost 6.

Then she looked in the mirror and a huge smile spread across her face.

Phew! Crisis averted.....